i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i now understand why vodka
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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