Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
