I cannot find my penis.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
