So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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