So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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