I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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