3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
