I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
