i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
