he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
