I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
