Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
