it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
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after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter