Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.