moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I gave a random lady a dildo