birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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