Sry I called you an 8
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.