Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
love makes seman taste better
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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