You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
