There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
