Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
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shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
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Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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