just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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