guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
