Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
and you fell through a lawn chair
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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