this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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