Ambien. No doubt about it.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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