how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
