he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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