I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
