so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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