North Korea, Best Korea!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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