The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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