Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Walk of Shame today included voting.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
