it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They took my balls.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
