I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
this hospital has no fireball
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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