This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
