i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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