I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
and you fell through a lawn chair
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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