A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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