Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
