Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
