I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
