if you like me you must not know who I am
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
