I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
