Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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