you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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