When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
there is glitter all over my balls
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