I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
