It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
