its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
