Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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