Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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