she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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