Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
