The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
