help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this beer tastes like vomit already
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
