I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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