i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize