dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
