I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
