Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Dicks are not precious.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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