I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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