I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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