I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
