i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize